At this point, you may be wondering why I am mentioning them if they are so well known. Good point. But I think I'll go ahead and mention them anyway.

I have noticed that we have an inherent tendency to judge people by their actions. I don't know about you, but I am certainly guilty of this. I think that we don't stop to separate the action from the person. As a result, we lose an excellent learning opportunity.

The situation that started me thinking about this is a very common one in Dubai – one of our friends was complaining about her maid. It seems that the maid, a young girl, engaged in some inappropriate activities while she was left unsupervised. We all focused on the consequences of the action, and were quick to comment on the lack of foresight and common sense exhibited by the poor girl. None of us stopped to look at why the incident happened in the first place. As the conversation gained momentum, so did our collective tendency to condemn the girl. Soon, we had moved on to discussing the termination of her contract.

This went on until someone much wiser than us asked us whether we had stopped to consider what the girl was looking for when she did what she did. We were shocked at the question – wasn't it obvious???

Ignoring our indignation at stopping a perfectly good conversation, the questions continued: was she looking for recognition, a basic human need? Appreciation? Was there a way to guide her to an alternative course of action that would give her the same payoff but in a constructive way? Did we have a right to judge her as a person based on one mistake? Did anyone of us actually try to put ourselves in her place before judging her?

Our irritation soon turned into a more compassionate examination of the girl's situation and the possible reasons for her mistake. We soon realized that although what she had done was still wrong, we could understand why she did it. We were also able to find alternate ways to give her the same payoffs, but in a way that contributed to her development.

Although this particular situation ended positively, how often do we stop and think before we judge people? How often do we separate the person from the action? In my case at least, I am ashamed to say not very often.

What are we losing by not stopping and thinking before we pass judgment? An opportunity to benefit from a feeling of compassion? A greater understanding of human nature? A more realistic outlook on life?

And what are we gaining? A fleeting and unwarranted feeling of superiority?

"Even God doesn't judge a person till the end of his/her days. Why should you and I?"