What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
Close the door, I'm dressing!

Why was the ketchup last in the race?
It couldn't ketch-up!

Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head!

What does Batman's mom call when she wants him to come in for dinner?
DINNER dinner DINNER dinner, DINNER dinner DINNER dinner BATMAN!

What's the name of the little girl who went out saving wolves?
Little Green Riding Hood

Who carries a basket, visits Grandma and steals her jewellery?
Little Red Robin Hood

What were Tarzan's last words?
Who greased the vine!

What do people do in clock factories?

They make faces all day

Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink

Why did the boy wear a belt on his teeth?
He couldn't find his braces

How does the biologist like to communicate?
With his cell phone!

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish

What's got a trunk, lots of keys and four legs?
A piano up a tree

What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it drove pink cars?
A pink car-nation!

Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things

What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.